Saturday, July 19, 2008

More deep thoughts

So, I should be sleeping, but it's elusive tonight. I just finished watching the movie, "Facing the Giants". I wasn't exceptionally thrilled with the acting, but the take home message is pretty powerful...along with many of the inspirational lines throughout the movie. It's left me thinking...How do I respond when tough things happen? Am I living my life in way that is honoring to God? These two weeks in the hospital have taught me a lot about faith, perserverence, patience, and waiting on God. He is indeed answering our prayers. At first, I felt that He was taking His own sweet time. But, looking back and seeing all that Dave and I have learned from this experience, I see His perfect timing in all of it. My faith has grown. I am a huge complainer by nature, and through this I have learned to adapt to situations that I didn't think I would, and still be thankful. I've still had my weak moments, but in them, I've seen God's strength.

My relationship with Dave has really grown. We've learned to really rely on one another and have learned what it means to love in good times and bad. Dave has really shown that to me. He's made me laugh when I've wanted to cry. There have been many kind words spoken to encourage one another. I have felt his support and encouragement throughout this whole ordeal. He has shown complete integrity when it comes to prioritizing family, even when it is hard. My respect for him has grown in these last two weeks. We've held hands, had really great meaningful conversations, and realized the importance of time spent well together. It's become a very sweet time in our marriage.

I've also personally learned to cherish the moment's with my kids. I miss Noah and even when he frustrates me and I often feel inadequate, I wouldn't change where we are at right now for the world. He's an amazing kid and I'm up to the challenge of raising him to be a strong, compassionate man who respects his elders and makes wise decisions. He really is a pretty great kid. He called me today and hearing his voice say, "Hi Mommy! I wuv you!" is by far the greatest reward that I will ever earn. Nothing compares. I've learned so much about Callie as well. She has really blossomed over these last few weeks. She cherishes attention and delights under it. She has laughed and is so joyful, and despite her circumstances, she has remained happy. Childlike faith. She is a warrior. I can't wait to see her live that out as she get's older.

We have felt the love of our family and friends who have surrounded us with support and prayers. In many ways, I feel we are walking away from this situation a little older, a little wiser, and with a little more faith. Having your child in the hospital leaves you feeling helpless and scared for them. But I'm not really helpless. I have seen the power of prayer acted out more times than I can relay this week. I have finally opened my eyes and can see how God moves through trials. Callie IS being healed, even now...for that, I am thankful...more than you know.

So, these are my deep thoughts for the evening. I've made many mistakes in life, but I'm so thankful that God gives second chances. I hope that when we leave here, I will not forget the lessons that I have learned. I pray that my attitude reflects Christ working in me...and that my actions show that. It's been in this time of weakness as a parent, that I feel God's strength around me...and am comforted that He loves my kids even more than I do. Thanks God for being so good.

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