I always feel slightly embarassed reading back through my evening posts and how unhinged I sound. Granted, that's pretty much how I was feeling at the time, but still. Sitting here in the light of day and reviewing the last week, I have come up with some thoughts:
I am thankful for the great service that we have had in all the hospitals that we have been at. I am especially thankful for Dave's friend who is a nurse who has helped us out tremendously since we have come to Riley (and all the great nurses at Home Hospital as well)
I am learning a ton about hospitals and how to manage with your kid in it. From basic necessities to making sure that you have your vices to keep you sane (for me: Kleenex, a wi-fi connection, and privacy) to asking the right questions.
Everything is manageable once you get your bearings. Once I have settled down here, I am finding that it's not so bad.
The times that Dave and I HAVE spent together have been nice. We've even gotten to hold hands again as we walk down to the cafeteria. We never get to do that anymore while wrangling kiddos. He's been pretty supportive through this...and I am so thankful that Callie and I aren't going through it alone.
I'm really cherishing the moments that I just get to hold her. She laughed and giggled today for the first time while Dave was playing with her. It was so cute to see and even more amazing that it happened while she was in the hospital.
I miss Noah- even his tantrums. It's hard not seeing him for almost a week now. Dave will sometimes mimic his antics and it makes me want to see him so badly.
This experience has made me grateful for the times when my kids are healthy and thankful that, unlike many of the kiddos here at Riley, we get to go home soon (and are not here for months at a time).
God has really shown up- through people coming to pray, people praying elsewhere for her (she's made it to a couple of church prayer lists), little things that he does to minister to us (times that I have prayed for an IV to go in so that she wouldn't be in any more pain, and 5 seconds later it slid right in, much to the nurses surprise. Or getting a private room less than 12 hours after I had prayed for one). I feel God's presence and feel cared for.
Callie is sleeping now. The doctors came in this morning and although they said it was a long shot to try and get the on-call specialist doctor to aspirate the lump this weekend, they were planning on calling. I appreciated that. I am still expecting nothing to happen until Monday, but I appreciated their efforts. The new situation makes it much easier to handle staying here throughout the weekend.
Well, for those who have been keeping up...sorry that you are seeing me come unglued now and then. I blog for many reasons...some to keep people updated and others to vent and process what's happening in our world. Take it for what it is.