I wish I could be honest and say that I have been ready for this baby to come for weeks now. On the outside, I felt that way (any woman who has been 9 months pregnant can attest to being uncomfortable). However, emotionally, I have had mixed feelings. Part of me is not ready to let him out of the womb because he's hung out there for the last 9 months. It's bittersweet because although I am uncomfortable much of the time, it's also the most incredible feeling having something move and grow inside you. I know that our lives are going to change (yes for the better), but change none-the-less when he makes his debut. Noah will no longer be the only child...etc. etc. It happened a little bit when I was pregnant with Noah, those final weeks where it all comes to a culmination right before the big performance. At that time, my friend Melinda came and we just prayed over the baby and all the different things..and I went into labor that night and all was well.
This time has looked slightly different. I feel that there has been more to prepare for mentally and emotionally. But yet, God is so faithful and has allowed me to work through these things prior to our new son's birth. Allow me to explain:
Melinda came last week and we prayed for awhile about the baby and that was good.
God really has given me a peace about not knowing what his middle name will be until he's born. We keep deliberating and are not set on anything, but it has been stressing me out. There's more to the story, but that's all I'll go into. Anyway, Dave prayed over me one overly emotional evening and since then I have felt much better about it.
Yesterday, Noah woke up too early from his nap. So, when I went in there, he just snuggled with me. I ended up taking him back to my room where I was reading a book. We cuddled for awhile and I realized that he had fallen back asleep on me. I sat there for an hour and a half just snuggling with him, while reading a tremendous book on God's mercy and grace, especially with children. I wept through the end of it and just held him. It was one of those moments where I didn't have the camera, but I had to take a mental picture. I felt like God really gave me that time with Noah as a gift, especially as this new little one will take up a lot of my time initially. It was nice to snuggle my big kid for just a little while longer. He's growing up so fast and I know those moments are fleeting. Thanks God for giving me that time yesterday.
I also got to take a preggo belly shot with my friend Abby, who is also pregnant. She is due in June and we have enjoyed being pregnant at the same time. I was hoping that we would be able to do this before I went into labor, and indeed...we were. :-)
So, I realize it seems silly, but I really feel more mentally prepared to have this munchkin now. God's timing is perfect. Keep telling me that though if I am overdue!