We had an awesome mini-conference at church today. It was entitled, "Learning to Listen to Jesus" and basically in a nutshell talked about prophesy, dreams, and visions. Sorry if this concept scares you. Believe me, at one point in my life...I didn't even believe in it myself. However, I have watched God work and change people's lives through visions or pictures meant to encourage, strengthen, and comfort a person...I am now convinced that it does happen.
Today, our lifegroup got totally hit. Well, number one...we all went, which was stinking cool. We know how to represent. :-) Second of all, many people in our lifegroup received life changing words and cool things spoken into their lives, while others had specific words for other people. We both received and gave. It was awesome.
I ended up calling Becky W. later tonight to ask her to pray for me. I have been feeling very judgemental and critical lately. And of the outflow of those petty feelings, come critical comments. I got pretty convicted because the thoughts I have had are towards people who don't know Jesus and need my love and compassion the most. I hate that this comes back and bites me every now and then. Becky did a good job praying for me and helping me to deal with it. Sometimes it takes a harsh realization that I am not being who God wants me to be to get my rear into gear again. Usually, its not very pretty and I get pretty humbled (if not a little embarassed by my actions... "I said that? Eeew.") Dave so graciously confirmed that I had been acting this way (It's SO HARD to hear that you are sinning from your spouse...I hate it when God uses Dave. However, it is also the most effective...when my spirit is willing to listen that is.)
So, anyway...if you have heard ungodly things from my mouth recently, I deeply apologize and (gulp) give you permission to call me out in the future. I am desperately trying to live my life in accordance with God. I realize now that my tongue reflects my heart. I need to be reading God's word and really gaining spiritual truths and insight from it (I'm working through Numbers right now in the Chronological bible...and admit...I probably need to also be reading something else to balance it out). I also need to be really seeking God's heart in prayer more often.
So, now...after this big confession...I am heading to bed.
Lord, I can do no good thing apart from you. Help my actions to be your actions...my thoughts, your thoughts, and make there be less of me and more of you in my life. I truly long for you to fill me and make me more like you. I don't do such a hotshot job on my own.