So, it was our first "real" lifegroup tonight. Perhaps I'm being a bit hard on the situation...but it was a rocky beginning. I'm trying to think back to our first lifegroup with the old one, and I remember it feeling rocky then too. We found our footing then, and I'm sure we'll find out footing again. Meanwhile:
We kicked off life-timonys this week. Essentially, it's your testimony with highlights of your life included. I was completely banking on Dave to go first, to give me time to compose my thoughts, but I failed to convey that clearly to him (apparently he wasn't reading my mind so well tonight). He offers for me to go first...YIKES! So, what happens? My mind goes completely...BLANK. Uh...and it went about downhill from there. We are trying to keep a time-limit on them mostly because we need to get through a lot in the next few weeks. However, because I was so worried about the time, I kept things short and sweet...to the point where I forgot to even mention having Callie (she wasn't in the last life-timony I gave...so I accidentaly forgot...she's still super important though!). To be honest, I think I said most of the important things (just all jumbled up and out of order)...I just didn't elaborate on how they impacted my life and where I am at on a deeper level now.
On top of that, Callie screamed the whole time (and we could hear her since she was just in the basement area) and Noah was upset...and later threw up in their garbage can because he got to coughing...AGAIN. (side note: I'm wondering if I need to take him in because although his cough isn't bad during the day...it's definitely bad at night with his drainage and I don't want him to get worse).
Back to topic: Thankfully, Summer and Mom Y. helped me process tonight. I apparently needed that to wind down. Here's me being vulnerable: I worry about a lot of things. I worry about offending people. I worry about leading well. I worry about worrying too much. Clearly, I need to take this to Jesus and have Him deal with me on it. We WILL find our groove, I'm sure. I'm actually really looking forward to this group. It seems like there are a lot of really great people in it.
OK Lord, I submit myself and this group to you. I know that you have plans for it beyond our rocky beginnings. Work in my life and in the life of this group. Amen.