Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Struggling with Sin (Stinks)

I hate struggling with sin. It stinks...Why can't I just have it all together and always act in a compassionate, graceful manner? Isn't that what Christians do? Anyway, this past week I have been really feeling convicted about a lot of things, one of which is my anger and bitterness that seem to come out fairly frequently these days. I am not proud of these characteristics. They are not very godly and don't represent being a Christian at all. I have felt God breaking me down and slowly showing me different perspectives to the people that I have felt this way toward. It has been very humbling. To really minister to people I have to put away my anger and bitterness and see what Jesus wants to do...and if He doesn't want to move in the time-table that I think He needs to, I need to accept that, because...well...I am not God. (You should all be very very thankful). However, I still value speaking the truth in love...the key word is love. In my anger and bitterness, love has a hard way of shining through sometimes. I had Dave pray for me last night to help me feel more compassion and grace towards others. Realistically, I realize that the urge to feel this way will rise again. My prayer, is that with Jesus' help, I can squelch it fast...I am tired of living in the pit. I would rather live in the light.


Mindy said...

I'll be praying too. Being broken down is so hard, but in the end it's always better. Good thing neither of us are God, it would be a messed up place.

Ann said...