Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Struggling with Sin (Stinks)
I hate struggling with sin. It stinks...Why can't I just have it all together and always act in a compassionate, graceful manner? Isn't that what Christians do? Anyway, this past week I have been really feeling convicted about a lot of things, one of which is my anger and bitterness that seem to come out fairly frequently these days. I am not proud of these characteristics. They are not very godly and don't represent being a Christian at all. I have felt God breaking me down and slowly showing me different perspectives to the people that I have felt this way toward. It has been very humbling. To really minister to people I have to put away my anger and bitterness and see what Jesus wants to do...and if He doesn't want to move in the time-table that I think He needs to, I need to accept that, because...well...I am not God. (You should all be very very thankful). However, I still value speaking the truth in love...the key word is love. In my anger and bitterness, love has a hard way of shining through sometimes. I had Dave pray for me last night to help me feel more compassion and grace towards others. Realistically, I realize that the urge to feel this way will rise again. My prayer, is that with Jesus' help, I can squelch it fast...I am tired of living in the pit. I would rather live in the light.