I think God's trying to get my attention. We sang Mighty to Save at church yesterday. If you're not familiar with it, it talks about God's power to save...how He can move mountains, save us from our sins, give us hope. There is one part in there that I was really moved by yesterday:
Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus
I thought about that a little bit. Am I shining my light so that others can see? Truthfully, I feel like my light might be flickering a little bit. I still feel confident that Dave will get a job, even though right now the options seem a little bleak. However, on a daily basis...my pursuing Jesus feels a little less than par. We studied Mary and Martha last week in our lifegroup. Martha invites Jesus to her home and then becomes the seemingly ideal hostess...trying to make everything "perfect" for his visit. She is working herself to the bone. Yet, she, even in her good intentions, misses the point. Jesus just wanted her to spend time with him, like Mary chose. We talked about whether you were a Mary or Martha. At first, I thought I identified with Mary. When we have large crowds of people over, I love spending time with them, talking with them, etc. Yet, when it comes to my savior, why is it that I am more of a Martha? My entire day can go by, and I am "busy"-cleaning, taking care of children, even trying my best to get caught up on church duties...yet all that busyness often detracts me from just sitting and making time with Jesus. Why do I do that? When I write it down, it seems really silly, but that's been my reality.
Because of that, my light has begun to flicker. Yet, every time I open the word, I feel like it's a drink of water to someone who is parched. It feels so refreshing. This morning, I read about Treasures in Jars of Clay.
The verse I read said: "For God who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ"- 1 Corinthians 4:6
Again, struck with the idea of God's light shining within us. I continued reading and it talked about how this power is from God and not from us. That even though we are hard pressed, we will not be crushed. The very end part got me too: "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Tony talked about this yesterday in his sermon. How we are to fix our eyes on Jesus. Jesus is the center.
So, if you haven't noticed, I think God is trying to get my attention: and He is succeeding. I want my light to shine and I want my eyes fixed on Jesus.
Lord, forgive me when I have been apathetic. Forgive me for putting so many other things before you. You are so much more worthy Jesus.