Terrible Two-year old

Gulp...I am a terrible two year old. Ugh. As I was doing my quiet time this afternoon I thought about my relationship with God. Being the ultimate Father, I'm sure he get's my frustrations sometimes as a parent. What became even more glaringly clear is how much I am like my two-year old son.

1) Defiance: Yep, for some reason at times I think that I know better than God. Noah defies me in the same way. Just as I know what's best for Noah, God know's whats best for me.

2) Whining: Noah is a perfectionist at this...I wonder where he got it from? I realized that I whine (and grumble, and complain...)about things not going the way I want them, God not saving babies, Him not doing what I want when I want it. Whining gets me nowhere, just as it does Noah. However, when he asks in his big-boy voice, I usually respond. Perhaps, if I come to God with the right motive and the willingness to listen, he will respond too.

3) Running away: Noah tends to run away when he is asked to do something that he doesn't want to do...Our modern day Jonah. I unfortunately need to be swallowed by the whale with him. I have been guilty of this too many times. Good thing that God is the God of second chances.

4) Consequences: As Noah gets consequences for his sinful behavior from me, sometimes I get tangible ones from God...and yeesh are they painful. Like Noah, I am not a vicarious learner. I have to stick my finger in the fire to learn my lessons.

Well, isn't that just the biggest lesson of all, to realize that you are as naughty and hard-headed as your terrible two-year old? The good thing is, I know how much I love Noah even when he is being ridiculous and not listening. I still love the little dude more than life itself. If my imperfect love still stands for Noah, I know that God's love for me still holds as well...even when I am being a terrible two-year old.

Well, isn't that...weird??

Check out this link to craigslist in Florida. A woman is trying to sell herself and her house together...I'm not sure my thoughts on it, although her pictures are a little...well...too "come hither" for my taste. But, whatever. I just found it interesting. There's a craigslist for everyone I suppose.

Eh.

This week totally got away from me. It's been fair. We've had some major defiance issues with Noah, but this tail end of the week has been better...maybe we're actually getting through to him. Maybe. When he behaves, he's actually quite cute. The week is honestly somewhat of a blur. I know that we went to the Children's Museum on Wednesday. Dave worked everyday but Friday at Thorntown, so he is a bit tired...he's working again today...but at least he gets to come home and sleep in his own bed tonight.

He bought me some really pretty gerbera daisies yesterday. They're my fav flower and the ones he got were very pretty.

I sold my coffee table...I was asking $20 and the guy gave me $30 (intentionally)...I didn't argue too hard. Sweet deal. Ours are ordered so we are just waiting for them to come in.

What else? RVC has its picnic tomorrow. We are looking forward to that. It should be an exciting day.

Well, I got nothing exciting to write about. I guess I'll get back to High School Musical (did i mention that Noah is hooked on it now? He is truly my son. :-))

Ironman

Yesterday, our friends the Wellner's and Lindsay watched our babes while Dave and I went to catch our first movie in almost 4 months. We went to see Ironman. It was so great to sit for two hours next to my husband and not have a kid climbing on us (not that we don't love our kids, but we needed some "us" time too). The movie was excellent. I highly recommend it. Perhaps my favorite marvel comic-turned movie.

When we got home, both babes were sleeping, my house was picked up, my laundry folded, and the stinky diapers that were taking over Callie's room that I had just never gotten around to throwing away were disposed of. I was so grateful, and probably mildly embarrassed that they found my house that way. But, as Ryan and Becky told us...aside from having Callie, we are virtually the same (Noah and River are 11 days apart). They told me I didn't need to apologize for my house being messy. (Even though I REALLY did try and get it somewhat picked up before people came). We are very fortunate to have such great friends. It was nice too to see Lindsay there as well. We like when our house is the hang-out spot.
I really must get the house clean today. We are having our lifegroup party here. I really love throwing parties and having people in our house. It's supposed to be really nice today too, so we can be outside as well. Sweet.

Noahisms

1) I painted my toenails as part of my twice a year tradition. The next morning, Noah looked at my feet and said, "Cool dude toes mommy."

2) When Abby and Baby Kate were over earlier, we were both nursing our babes. Noah had his baby and was pushing it around in the stroller, having me pat the baby, and caring for it. Well, then he decided that I needed to feed it. When I declined, he lifted up his shirt earnestly and stuck the baby to his belly button, and declared, "Baby's eating!". Ahh, I love my kid.

Breakdown of Breakdowns

Yesterday was the mother of all breakdowns. For some reason, the events of dealing with a terrible two year old, feed a 3 month old, and keep a house all came to a crashing hault yesterday. Dave had left to go play frisbee golf. Noah woke up from his nap and literally whined/cried for a full 2.5 hours about EVERYTHING. There was about a 10 minute span where he didn't, but the rest was whining about whatever the subject was at the moment. I tried redirecting, time-out, then my patience left and I turned to yelling and screaming. Looking back, I am so ashamed, but at the time I had lost whatever "cool" I had left in me. It was not just this particular period of time, it was an accumulation of more bad times than good lately, him not listening to a single thing I have said, blatantly ignoring me, and when punished in time-out, not staying in time-out. It has been a constant battle. Dave and I are both worn out. Anyway, it all lead up to yesterday's breakdown. After a particularly bad time-out (him not sitting down, me constantly having to force him there), I sat on my living room floor and cried. We were both antagonizing one another to the point where it had gotten this bad. How sick. I knew that he was needing time with me and was having a belated bout of jealousy toward Callie, except at the moment, I was so spent I had nothing left in me...I mean nothing. I tried praying. A couple of different times yesterday I sat with him and we tried praying for help. Finally, after praying with Noah and him refusing to say sorry to Jesus (I had to say it too). I just started crying...and stayed that way until Dave came home and found me. I had never felt like so much of a failure as a mom as I did at that point. It was by far my lowest moment as a mom. Instead of the irate anger that I had previously had, I

Project Update

Well, here are some more pics of the floor project. There are a few flaws, but on the whole it is 110% better than what it was before. Beyond that, our garage is finally getting REALLY clean. (That's my favorite part)


(BEFORE)


(AFTER)

Yes, it looks REALLY blue in this pic, but really it's not all that bad. It's more muted in broad spectrum.

Breakdown to Breakthrough

It finally happened...the weeks of me avoiding Jesus and asserting that I can do it on my own and trying to parent, lead a lifegroup, lead prayer, be a wife, be a friend, maintain a house, and keep my sanity all lead to this moment, today, where I finally admitted...no, I can't.

It wasn't intentional. I love Jesus, I just wasn't doing such a hotshot job of showing Him or giving my trust over. For some reason, I still think that I know better than the God of the universe what's best for me and mine. But, as my house was falling apart, I was screaming at my son, and had to go into my room to give myself a time-out, I realized that I am not God and that I DESPERATELY need His help to be a better parent, wife, and well, person.

So, I sat down, pulled out my prayer journal (with the last entry dated...back in February...) and started writing. Incidentally, in my last entry, I had prayed for a friend of mine to experience healing for two miscarriages. I prayed that God would either allow her to get pregnant or to remove that desire (which were also her prayers). I chuckle when that was the first thing I saw. She is now well on her way with a healthy pregnancy...thanks God for so quickly showing me that you do answer prayer.

After that short amount of time praying through ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication), my equilibrium is restored, I have found my center, I no longer feel like I am going to run screaming out of the house if my son misbehaves yet again. They don't call Jesus the miracle worker for nothing.

So, in closing, let me be the poster child for seeking Jesus. Jesus Saves (marriages, children, houses, equilibrium). He's that good. Really, you should give Him a try.

Beautiful Paintings

I haven't had a chance to post the incredible paintings my friend Darlene painted for my kiddos. These pics really don't do them justice. These are truly great works of art and I hope that Noah and Callie will always treasure them. They mean even more that they were painted by a dear friend specifically for my babes. Darlene...you are truly a gifted artist and we so appreciate the treasures that you paint for us. You're amazing.

Summer Projects

We have a new project. Dave was looking in the Menards ad this morning and saw that epoxy garage floor paint was on sale for really cheap. A mere 5 hours later, we have cleared and cleaned out half of the garage for tomorrows paint job.

Here are the real reasons why we ended up doing this. After the great mice fiasco of '08, I was really wanting to give the garage a good cleaning. This will really make the garage look sharp, and make it easier to clean. It also provides us a great opportunity to clean and organize, which has been on my to-do list for months. In the end, it really motivated us to clean the garage...and clean it good. So, painting...here we come.
(Before)

Storm Stories

Well yesterday we had a pretty severe storm hit our area. Summer and her girls were over playing (while our husbands were both working on dad's day). The storm got so bad we hauled all the kiddos into the bathroom for a few minutes until the worst of it subsided. We lost power for about 3 hours. The kids were playing with flashlights and trying to find things to do that didn't involve the television....novel idea. Although nothing happened at our house (mercifully), other houses did not wear so well in our neighborhood. Dave and I later took the kids for a walk and ended up surveying the damage of houses around the neighborhood. Many people lost WHOLE trees (we saw at least 2 pine trees pulled from their roots), and more limbs and branches than we could count. One branch fell on a truck and did some damage, missing shingles, missing siding...It was quite the storm.

Taming the Tongue

Tony talked about James 3 today, which breaks down the taming of the tongue...Yeesh. It was so hard to hear it...mostly because this is an area of struggle for me at different times. I felt so convicted. What's worse. As soon as the sermon was done, I was talking to a close friend and out popped something that could have totally been taken the wrong way. I totally didn't mean it the way it came out, but never the less...out it was. Seriously?! Did I not learn anything in the last 30 minutes of teaching? I had to call my friend later and apologize (always humbling). It's even worse when I do that, sometimes, because then once I get going I can't stop. Thankfully, there is grace. That is the big thing that I am learning. I am an all or nothing sinner...meaning, I either am completely oblivious to my sins or when I do acknowledge them I am racked with so much guilt that I forget that God has already forgiven me. There has to be middle ground somewhere, an area of gentle conviction that brings about change, but acknowledges grace.

Well, clearly I don't have this area mastered yet (controlling the tongue or finding grace). Good thing that God's not through with me yet...Now if only I could be a more studious pupil.

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Unfortunately, our "dad" is working all day today. managed to give him his gifts and make breakfast for him this morning, but he is off to work now.

In honor of dad's day:



Thanks honey for being such a great dad. We love you!!!

It is well with my soul

Given the events of the last few days (check out previous post), I decided to ponder a little deeper on this hymn. Here's what I found on wikpedia:

This hymn was writ­ten af­ter several trau­matic events in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871, shortly followed by the great Chi­ca­go Fire which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the S.S. Ville Du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While cross­ing the At­lan­tic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with an­o­ther ship, and all four of Spaf­ford's daugh­ters died. His wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spaf­ford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daugh­ters had died.

The Spaffords later had three more children, one of whom (a son) died in infancy. In 1881 the Spaffords, including baby Bertha and newborn Grace, set sail for Palestine. The Spaffords moved to Jeru­sa­lem and helped found a group called the Amer­i­can Col­o­ny; its mis­sion was to serve the poor. The col­o­ny lat­er be­came the sub­ject of the No­bel prize win­ning Je­ru­sa­lem, by Swed­ish nov­el­ist Sel­ma La­ger­löf.

This man really lived a Job-like life...and yet, these are the lyrics that he penned:

It is well with my soul:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul

It makes me think about the silly trials in my life (disciplining a 2-year old, keeping my house maintained, whinyness-mine and Noah's). The Lord is still there whether your trials are trivial or despairing. I need to find the place in my heart again where I can say, with confidence, "It is well with my soul". The events of this last week have pushed me just a little bit closer, but I am still reaching.

Thoughts on a funeral...

Dave's grandma passed away this last Sunday. So, on Tuesday we made the trek to the Quad cities to say our final goodbye. The journey proved to be an interesting one for us. Grandma lived her last few years in a town called Silvis. However, before that, she lived in Ashton for a VERY long time. She ended up being buried in Ashton. For some reason, this led Dave and I to a discussion on where we would want to be buried when that time comes. The jury is still out...and hopefully the need will not arise for quite some time. Still, it was in interesting discussion.

Some things of interest:

There was a CD playing hymns softly in grandma's room at all times. She passed away to "It is well with my soul"...Now that is truly a great way to go. Dave and I both had goosebumps, and tears when his aunt shared that story with us.

Noah and his cousin, Tyler got along swimmingly. There was one wrestling match, but it ended amiably.

On our drive from the visitation to the funeral we passed a road called, "Bloody Gulch Ave"- You can't make this up people. I didn't grab my camera fast enough to take a picture.

I missed most of the funeral due to an overactive 2 year old. However, I heard that it was beautiful and the parts that I DID catch were very moving. It was more important that Dave was there to say goodbye to Grandma. He and the rest of the male grandchildren were pallbearers.

When we arrived at the cemetery, Noah felt inclined to point out all the "Big rocks". He walked along and said, "Big rock. Big rock. Big rock"

At the reception afterwards, Dave was talking with a group of people. It came out that he was a vet. One woman asked him, "What's the name of the horse clinic in Albuquerque, New Mexico?" Uhh...How obscure a question is that? I imagine Dave felt that he was on a game show...he lost that question.

It was really nice to see many relatives that we had not seen in quite some time. Many people had not yet met Callie.

It was hard to see Grandpa. He had been married to grandma for over 60 years. That is a great love story. There were pictures of them in their later years kissing like newly weds. They would often sit together on the bench overlooking the lake at the cabin...I always found that to be pretty romantic. To be married that long and still delight in your spouse is pretty incredible. It will be very hard to see him at functions without her. They were quite the pair. I hope that Dave and I have a love story like theirs that spans the decades. The trip was truly a great testament to their love for one another and their family. She will be missed.

Now we are back home. We arrived late last night. Noah didn't fall asleep until after 11:30. That's why I was a bit surprised when he popped into our room this morning bright eyed and wide awake at 7:30. He didn't get much sleep. It should prove to be an interesting day, with hopefully a LONG nap tucked in there somewhere.

Nursing Noah

Well, it finally happened. Noah tried to nurse Callie. I had just finished nursing Callie, and he was sitting next to me. He lifted up his shirt and shoved Callie's head into his stomach. "Callie eat", he said. I had to have the discussion (while trying not to laugh) that only mommy's can feed babies that way. Pretty sure he didnt' get it.

In other Noah news, he threw up his dinner when he caught a piece the wrong way. While I started the bath, I came back to the kitchen to find Noah, the chair, and daddy gone. I looked outside and Dave was literally hosing Noah off outside. :-) Noah loved it. By the time I grabbed my camera, Noah had moved. Noah thought it was a blast. Why do I bother with bathes?

Now I'm It!

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
1. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
3. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

Q. What were you doing 5 years ago today?
1. Planning my wedding
2. Finishing up my Deaf Education degree
3. Working at Cornerstone Books
4. Working at Steak n Shake
5. Learning a LOT about life

Q. 5 things on your to do list today
1-Get my haircut
2- Call about my brakes
3- Pack
4- Laundry
5-Call and reschedule doctors appts.

Q. 5 snacks you enjoy
1- Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Blizzards
2-Special K bars (Chocolate drizzle)
3-Cheddar rice cakes
4- whole fruit strawberry frozen popsicles
5- fruit snacks

Q. 5 things you would do if you were a billionare
1- Build RVC a new church facility
2-Pay off our debt and that of those close to us
3-Build a new house
4-Invest in some good causes
5- Have a lot of fun randomly giving money away (Give big or go Home)

Q. 5 jobs you have had
1- Lifeguard
2-Violin Teacher
3-Waitress- Steak n Shake
4-Deaf Education Teacher
5-Mom

Q. 5 people you want to tag
1- Tiffany
2-Jonell
3-Ann
4-Summer
5-Becky

When it all hits the fan...

Our morning started with a phone call letting us know that Dave's grandma had passed away over the night. It's not completely unexpected, but it it still sad. What's worse, is that we were not able to see her before she passed. Circumstances worked against us and it just didn't happen. We found out the visitation and funeral are on Tuesday and Wednesday respectivelly. Unfortunately, these are the only 2 days that Dave is working this week. He was able to get things switched around thogh.

Meanwhile, after church, Dave took Noah home to nap while I had a farewell lunch with a friend who is moving to Denver. Noah napped the whole time I was gone. When I got home, Dave left to play frisbee golf and I decided to try and taken the kids to the mall to get Father's Day presents since I had my nifty new stroller. Well, that was a bad move on my part. When will I learn? Suffice it to say, Noah was in time out in Kohls while women stared at me with disapproval. The minute I had Noah calmed down, had him apologize and got him situated, Callie let loose with all she was worth. I realized that she had soaked through her outfit and all my spares were...in the van. I was going to buy her an outfit there anyway because I had exchanged one she had outgrew before she could wear it. Until then though, she rode around in just her diaper wailing. (I eventually did dress her as she wailed outside of Kohls)

Noah refused to ride in his new stroller as we walked the length of the mall to get to Penneys. I just kept walking and he followed. Although I did get many funny looks from parents. On any other day, I wish I could say that I knew EXACTLY what to do to get my kid to obey and hop in that stroller and that we were on our merry way. Some days, I CAN wave that magic mom wand and make it happen. Other days, like today, my wand has gone missing...and along with it...my patience.

When we got to Penneys, both children started screaming at the top of their lungs. There was a whole line of people waiting to check out that all took time to stare at the Broadway Musical that was unfolding before their eyes. I felt my resolve completely shatter. I laid my head against a post and just took a deep breath, picked Callie up, told Noah to get back into the stroller (for the 48th time) and proceeded to the checkout. While waiting, Noah picked up my wallet and dropped it, scattering literally everything I had in there (which is a lot of crap) all over the floor.

Then, in my lowest moment, a kind voice says to her daughter, "Let's help this lady pick up her wallet." She bends down and quickly helps me gather all my things, picks up the wallet and hands it to me. In the most knowing and sympathetic voice she quietly says, "It's hard, isn't it?". "Yes" I reply as I (no joke) start crying. For some reason, this woman's compassion was my undoing and I just lost it in the middle of JC Penneys. More women started looking at me as I have tears running down my face. I am mortified that I have been reduced to tears. Then, Noah gets off the stroller AGAIN and I have to ask him for the 49th, 50th, 51st, and 52nd time to get back on the stroller.

God must have known I couldnt' handle much more. I got a phone call from my sister-in-law, Laura, who just listened as I verbally threw up on her the events of the last 20 minutes. Then, I ran into my friend Ann and her two kids who were leisurely walking the mall. I walked up to her about ready to cry again at the sight of seeing a friendly face. She walked me to where our car was parked. It was just what I needed to calm down. Noah of course, was behaving at that time.

At the end of the day however, I still come to two conclusions: Parenting is NOT easy. I love my kids and they are worth it all.

Hooray!

The stroller is here...and it is awesome!!! I love it. Other good things: I got a massage on Friday, we got to see baby Kate on Friday night, our friends Dan, Darlene, and Bill all hung out with us this evening. Life is good.

Stroller

Well, after a month of being backordered, my stroller should be arriving at my house sometime tomorrow. I CAN'T wait! As soon as it hits the pavement, I'm going to make Dave set it up so that I can take the kiddos on a walk. It better come tomorrow...

ZOO (Again)

We are making good use of our membership at the zoo. We went again today, this time bringing our friends, Tony and Sarah and their kiddos. The weather was a bit iffy in the morning, but then cleared up and got HOT. My sunburn is proof. We let the kids play in the splash zone for awhile. It took Noah a little while to warm up to it, but then there was no stopping him. :-)

It was another fun family day. Now, we are babysitting the Riv-man, while his rants go out for their anniversary (5 years!). Noah is having some issues sharing, but we are working on that. However, after his full day and only 1 hour nap, it seems a bit of a struggle.

Dave is playing with a face filter program that can enhance or distort pictures. He just made Noah look like an alien and is laughing so hard, that the kids and the dog are staring at him and laughing nervously and looking around. Silly Daddy.

It's been a good day.

The adventures of Captain Poopy Pants

Today's adventure takes us to the bathtub. Yes, floating feces were found in the bathtub where young Noah was taking his bath. The disgusting turds consumed the bathwater. Captain Poopy Pants' trusty sidekick, "Scrubbing Mommy" came to the rescue while Daddy took Noah to the other bathtub to clean off. Scrubbing Mommy, well, scrubbed, and disinfected the offending area. Afterwards declaring it safe to use for another day. Catch the next installment of Captain Poopy Pants where he takes on the porcelain throne...hopefully. :-)

Welcome Baby Kate!!!

Callie has a new friend! Our friends, Rocky and Abby just welcomed baby Kathryn Elizabeth into the world early this morning (2:25am). She is 7 pounds, 14 ounces and is 19.5" long. Everyone is doing well. Hooray! Congratulations Rocky and Abby!